Ramblings of a Total Spazz
by beautiful memories
Summary: Collection of one-shots & songfics. All Amu x Ikuto. /complete
1. May I?

Wow, second story or drabble in a week. I'm so on a roll. XD

I _would _like to organize all my one-shots and SONGFICs in a story, but I've already gotten reviews for them and I don't want to lose those.

Anyway...

Again, thanks so much for people who reviewed "My Savior" and "Our OuterSelves Aren't Real". I'm thinking of just changing it to "Our OuterSelves". It's shorter and better. You guys decide and tell me, please. And the usual.

I thank anyone who clicked this story to read it, I heart you! ^^

* * *

**Snowiisan does not own Shugo Chara!.**

**Enjoy~  
(P.S. Normal POV)**

Amu and Tadase were in front of Amu's house. Tadase was fidgeting anxiously with his fingers while Amu was twirling her index finger with her hair.

"Um, Amu-chan, I have to tell you something," Tadase said suddenly. Amu stopped playing with her hair, and crossed her arms over her chest, a forcing a smile on her face.

"What is it, Tadase-kun?" Amu asked in her sweetest voice.

"I have to break up with you," he said quietly. Amu was shocked inside; she felt like her world and heart was shattering into pieces. But she was surprised of her smile was still in place. And yet, shes still knew this was happening. Their relationship wasn't working out. But, she hadn't known that it would hurt this bad.

"Yeah, thats exactly what I was thinking," she lied, trying her best not to let the tears drip and her voice to go hoarse.

Tadase exhaled a sigh of relief.

"Good, its just that I've found someone that we have more in common about and, you know," he paused as if Amu was going to say anything. She didn't. Instead, she lifted her head to face Tadase and said in casual voice,

"I just have to go to a drug store, do you mind?" she asked. Tadase smiled and shook his head.

"No, of course not. Well, I'll see you later....Hinamori-san." and he turned to walk the other way. Amu turned around and ran the other way, leaving Tadase to walk home by himself. This, however, was watched by Ikuto.

_And there you stand, opened heart—opened doors  
Full of life with the world, that's wanting more  
But I can see when the lights start to fade  
The day is done and your smile has gone away_

Amu's smile was replaced by tears as she ran past the drug store, her belongings – which was only a purse with a cellphone – falling on the way. She ran past unfamiliar faces, and into an alleyway. She glanced at her watch: 12: 03 AM. Her parents would be worried sick, but she didn't mind. She had a whole different crisis at hand and she wanted to handle this first. Amu lied her back against the dirty smelling wall, letting her tears drip uncontrollably down her face. Tokyo's light was dimming once she got to the far end of the alleyway.

_Why?, _she thought.

_Why does this always happen to me?_

Ikuto suddenly walked in the same alleyway, and Amu tried to huddle herself, making sure that he wouldn't recognize her. Unfortunately, which her strange bubble-gum pink hair, he could easily know. He sat beside her saying nothing. After a while he said,

"Hey."

He was rewarded with sniffling.

_Let me raise you up  
Let me be your love_

He wrapped his arms around her tiny, petite figure, and trying to whisper comforting words to her like, "It's gonna be okay. Don't worry.".

None of it was working. She was still crying.

"Amu, come on, he isn't worth your tears. You should know that!"

Amu stifled. Ikuto was glad that she at least quieted down.

"You should have someone better, someone like me," he whispered. He paused and Amu still didn't say anything. Ikuto sighed and stood up, a hand reaching out to her.

"Come on, Amu. Get up. Be strong." he smiled. Amu looked up at Ikuto, her tears almost dried. Then she turned her gaze on his hand, and grabbed it after a second. Ikuto held her by the elbows.

_May I hold you  
as you fall to sleep?  
When the world is closing in  
And you can't breathe?  
May I love you?  
May I be your shield?  
When no one can be found  
May I lay you down?_

"Shh." he said. Amu suddenly started bawling into his arms.

"I-Ikuto," she gasped.

"I-I can't do it. He-He means the w-w-world to me a-and h-he's gone! I-It-It's like m-my world is shattering into pieces!" she screeched, and suddenly the impact of her tears couldn't stand her up. She fell to her knees and bawled like a baby. Ikuto went down with her and held his hand out as if in a _may I have permission to do so? _gesture. Amu didn't understand; she just simply nodded, and Ikuto wrapped his arms once again around her slim body.

"Amu, look, I feel sorry for you," he started, and Amu cried out.

"But, if you just give me one chance, I'll promise to love you even more than he did," Ikuto begged. Amu suddenly rested her head on Ikuto's lap, and murmured in a sleepy voice.

"May I please just sleep this off...?" Amu asked, her red eyes puffy from crying. He felt Amu shiver reluctantly and Ikuto slipped off his coat, wrapping it around her. She closed her eyes, and Ikuto saw her sniff his coat and smile in contentment. Ikuto felt his eyes widen.

_All I want is to keep you safe from the cold  
To give you all that your heart needs the most_

"Don't leave me." Amu whispered sleepily. Ikuto shook his head and started combing her hair with his slender fingers.

"I promise I will _never, ever_ leave your side like Tadase did." he whispered, venom immediately entering his voice when he said 'Tadase'. Amu frowned in her sleep, but otherwise did no other movement. Amu smiled slightly to herself. Her heart was already healing from the pain Tadase caused. It felt to her that was all her heart needed: Comforting. Even under Ikuto's coat, she still felt cold. Amu opened her eyes, and gazed at the streets full of people shopping for Christmas. It was snowing! No wonder she felt so cold. She turned her head slightly to look at Ikuto, and he was staring down at her. Her cheeks immediately hit a tint of pink and she turned away. Amu was disgusted in Tadase. Here it was, two days before Christmas, and Tadase had _dumped _her. That was her Christmas present from Tadase_. _Him dumping her.

_Such an assy present, _Amu thought.

**[A/N: Hehe...'assy'. That's funny.]**

Amu shivered once she felt slowflakes falling from the sky. She was too tired to look up; so she just tried to ignore them. Ikuto unbuttoned his shirt, and put that on Amu too. Once she felt the density of another object on her, she snapped her eyes open and gasped in horror.

"Ikuto, put your shirt back on, it's freezing!" she yelled. Ikuto shrugged. She tried thrusting the shirt into his hands but he just handed it back to her, seriousness in his eyes.

"No. I only want you safe," he said, with the same seriousness his eyes held. Amu felt herself freeze.

_Wha..?_

_Let me raise you up  
Let me be your love_

Amu finally sighed and gave up. She knew there was nothing to change his mind so she just nuzzled her face into his leg. She blushed at the position they were in.

"Why do you keep saying stuff like that?" she whispered. Ikuto chuckled.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm in love with you, Amu." he said smoothly. Amu blushed and un-nuzzled herself from his leg.

"Why would you love someone like me?" she muttered, each breath she took coming out in a fog. "I'm a nobody. If Tadase can just dump me like that, then no one must care for me."

"That's not true!" Ikuto defended. He was truly angered by such brutal thoughts she was thinking just because the _Kiddy King_ dumped her.

_May I hold you  
as you fall to sleep?  
When the world is closing in  
and you can't breathe?  
May I love you?  
May I be your shield?  
When no one can be found,  
may I lay you down?_

"I love you because you never give up, I love you because you _always _stay by someone's side till the end, I love you because you act tough even though you're crumpling inside and need someone to you comfort you. All in all, I love you because of _you," _

Amu couldn't help but sniffle. Here he was, loving her like he loved heaven, and she didn't return his feelings back. Actually, she couldn't tell if she did or not. She had just gotten through a break up, and it was hard knowing what she was feeling. All she felt was pain and uneasiness. But that was easing with Ikuto by her side. She didn't want to be in a relationship for a while. She stayed quiet, digesting everything he was saying.

"I would love you, I would protect you from everything you _want _to be protected from, I...I would do anything for you, Amu." he said.

_All that's made me  
Is all worth trading  
Just to have one moment with you  
So I will let go  
All that I know  
Knowing that you're here with me  
For your love is changing into me..._

Suddenly, Ikuto's phone rang, and he cursed. He fumbled in his jean pocket until he found it and flipped it open.

"What?" he snarled. The other line was silent for a few seconds.

"_Oi, Ikuto, your concert's in 15 minutes! Where are you?" _his manager, Nikaidou screeched. Ikuto's eyes narrowed.

"Cancel the concert. I won't be able to come tonight." he said, his voice ready to crack.

"_But Ikuto, we can't do that!" _

"Postpone it or something. I just can't come tonight. I'm busy with somebody more important than my career." he said, his voice softening, now looking at the sleeping Amu. He hadn't heard her answer to his forceful confession, but he knew deep in his heart that she _did _love him. She just had to spend a _little _more time with him for her to un-bury it and find the truth.

"_Fine," _His manager growled. _"But don't blame me if you have the paparazzi and fangirls all mad at you."_

And with that, his manager hung up.

"See Amu," he whispered, more to himself than to her. "I _would _trade anything for you."

Amu twitched in her sleep and Ikuto's eyes immediately reverted to her sleeping face.

"Ikuto..." she murmured in her sleep. A smile broke out on Ikuto's face.

_I just might have a chance._

_May I hold you  
as you fall to sleep?  
When the world in closing in  
and you can't breathe?  
May I love you?  
May I be your shield?  
Where no one can be found,  
may I lay you down?_

Ikuto leaned down so that his face was hovering over hers, his hair on her skin. He placed both hands on the side of her face and switched positions so that nobody from the streets would know what he was doing. Amu still had a delicate little smile of her face. But, Ikuto however, had a smirk. He leaned down, and kissed her on the lips. It was a bit awkward since he was facing the opposite direction Amu was, but their lips still etched with each other. Amu wasn't kissing back, she was sleeping, and nobody could kiss in their sleep, could they? **[A/N: Unless they're a big pervert. =.=] **

After a minute, he let his lips slowly lay there, against hers and his smirk widened as he breathed in her strawberry scent.

"It doesn't matter either way if you accept my confession or not, because," he paused as his smirk was replaced with a smile and he closed his eyes. "I've already fell in love with you and I'm planning on making you fall for me. It doesn't matter to me how long it takes. I _will _make you mine."

* * *

Okay, this took longer than expected. About 6 hours. Damn...

L.O.L

After I listened to this song, I just _knew _to write this and it completely fits their relationship. Well, it does if Tadase breaks up with Amu. Which I'm hoping since I'm hating Tadamu more and more each day. Also, this song has because my absolute favorite song in the whole wide world. Or in other words, its in my "All Time Favorite Song" Award. And trust me, those awards are a big thing thing for me. Okay, thankies for reading! ^^

_Song:  
May I - Trading Yesterday_

Oh yeah, and also, I would like to thank the persona that gave me the idea. I watched her Amuto MMV video with this song and completely fell in love with it. So I would like to thank MewAzumi from Youtube! Thanks Mew!

Flames are more than welcome.

Pointing out mistakes is fine.

Suggestions are okay.

Telling me you loved it is great!

**R.E.V.I.E.W**

**I**

** V**


	2. Why Did I Fall For You?

_~ Songfic Week ~_

Yup. I'm planning to get all Songfics I have on my list done this week, so I'm officially labeling this, "Songfic Week." Let's see if I succeed!

`Cause I said I'd update on "Sacrifice" and "Runaway" this weekend, but…

._.

Didn't happen. xD

-- Song: Why Did I Fall For You?

-- Artist: DBSK // TVQX // Tohoshinki

* * *

Name: Why Did I Fall For You?

Genre: Angst // Tragedy

Rated: K+

**Snowiisan does not own Shugo Chara! or "Why Did I Fall For You?".**

* * *

Bells ring.

People laugh.

Smiles are spread across faces.

But his face is only a mask. _He's _the only one with a fake smile; _he's _the only one in pain; and _he's _the only one suffering inside.

Nothing can compare to the pain Ikuto is facing, by looking at his love, walking down the aisle, with her father, and towards a man that is not him.

_Why…_  
…_Did I end up falling for you?  
No matter how much time has passed  
I thought that you would always be here  
__But you have chosen a different road_

_  
It would have been better_, he thought, _for me to not have even met you._

Yet, he knew he couldn't go back in time to fix his mistake, even though he wanted to. She was 21, he was 23, and nothing was wrong with that age difference. He had met her when she was 11, and since then, they had been the best of friends. He hadn't even known she was dating someone until she told him she was engaged just a few months ago. Of course that had shattered his heart.

He looked at her.

Stared at her.

Watched her.

Gazed at her.

Bore his eyes into her back.

She hadn't looked back; there was a smile on her face, and she was moving forward, striding even, in a graceful manner. Her white dress leaving a trailer behind her, her veil covering her golden orbs.

_Moving forward, _he thought, _I have to move forward._

_Why…_  
…_Wasn't I able to convey to you?  
My feelings that were growing everyday and night  
The words begin to overflow  
__But I know they wont reach you now_

He remembered telling her multiple times that he loved her. Had she taken it seriously? No. There had been a time where Ikuto had to stay over at Amu's house, due to some problems with family, and he confessed there. She, however, had taken it lightly as a joke.

Of course he couldn't tell her now.

Sometime before, he had stopped telling her that he loved her, for it was useless. He had found out she was dating someone, and she had announced her engagement.

Now, it was hopelessly, utterly, useless. Her wedding was less than 30 minutes away, and he couldn't just come up and say, "I love you!" in front of the crowd. Plus, she wouldn't have time to change her mind.

**~*~**

_From the first day that I met you  
I felt like I knew you  
And the two of us melded together so naturally_

Ikuto closed his eyes, recapping the memory that never seemed to gray out, even though it was about 10 years old, the moment he first met her:

_Ikuto walked aimlessly around Tokyo, looking for his favorite grocery store. Of course, his sister, Utau, had begged to go with him, but his reply was a simple "No."_

_It was sunny outside, and Ikuto closed his eyes, absorbing the sun's light. This was what he enjoyed. Suddenly, he felt the air being sucked out of him, and in the second, he was on the floor, pain radiating from his skull._

"_What the…"_

"_I'm sorry!" It was the girl he ran into. Once his eyes adjusted, he looked at her. Porcelain skin, honey-golden colored eyes, fuchsia colored hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, you know, bump into you or anything." she muttered, her face reddening in embarrassment. _

_He had smirked._

"_Well then, _Amu, _I guess you've got to pay me back, would you not?"_

_Her eyes widened._

"_How do you know my name?"_

_His index finger pointed to her right breast, which lay her name badge, made of clearing scratch, claiming she worked in a "café" just down the street._

"_Your badge," he claimed, stifling a chuckle._

_Amu blushed._

"_Uh, okay. How about I treat you to a cup of … coffee?" she asked._

_He shook his head._

"_Not enough."_

"_Uh … a cup of coffee …with me?"_

_Ikuto's smirk widened. _

"_Sounds good to me."_

He remembered exchanging numbers after that, how it was so natural for them to be together. Nobody ever thought it was unusual that Amu had a boyfriend yet she always hung out with Ikuto. Ikuto was her best friend. At least, that's what she described him. Ikuto's intentions had been a little different. Over time, spending almost everyday with her had changed his feelings. It was roughly ages ago that he started loving her.

He had a year to confess. Yet, he kept his mouth shut.

_It was natural for me to be where you were  
The two of us grew up together  
But you've already chosen a different path…_

_  
_Still, Ikuto couldn't help the nagging feeling in his stomach that he should've done something. If it was just so natural to be with her, things going so smoothly, why couldn't he just grabbed her shoulders, forced a blush on his face, and told her straight out, "I love you. Please go out with me." like that little Tadase did.

Though him and Tadase had total complete personalities. He wouldn't think Amu would like that.

He admitted: He stalked Amu. Even though he was the older kid, he just couldn't help but follow her around, be her savior so no one could get near her. Of course he waited. Waited for her to grow up, so she could understand his feelings when he said, "I love you."

Apparently, growing up together still didn't change her mind about Tadase. Even after all they've been through …

_Why…_  
…_Did I end up falling for you?  
No matter how much time has passed  
I still thought you were right here  
(Now we can't turn back)  
_

Waiting for her was absurd, he now thought. He shouldn't have. He shouldn't have even went to the café with her. He cursed faith, cursed it for falling for her, cursed it for bumping into her and now experiencing this heartbreak. Did it _have _to be her? The funny, patient, loving, klutzy, blushing idiot? He'd much rather prefer a slut or someone, just _not her._ What did he do to hurt someone so much? What sin did he commit to deserve this punishment?

All this time, he thought Amu was with him, hanging out with _only _him and a couple of her other friends. Did she sneak away with Tadase? Did she hide the truth from Ikuto, secretly saying, "Oh, I have plans tomorrow" just to meet her beloved Tadase?

He couldn't believe it. Yet, he had to. It was the only way. It couldn't have been an arranged marriage. He'd have to accept faith.

_Life is a game, _he thought. _A stupid, sick, game._

_The special meaning held by this day  
Today you stand with a happy expression  
You looked beautiful while praying to God  
_

He snapped back to reality as he watched her, now stand beside Tadase. A person that wasn't him. She _was _beautiful, she truly was, but he couldn't help but image what would look more beautiful: with him standing next to her.

He wasn't selfish. If he was, he'd stand up, clearly say his vow, and pick her off her feet, ruining her wedding. But, he wasn't like that, and he watched how she stood there, her face practically radiating out of excitement, happiness, and gratitude.

Her mouth was moving, he had noticed. She was murmuring something; and this made him think that she was probably praying to God, to keep her happy and successful. She had a tendency to do that.

_But I wasn't the one next to you  
And the image of you receiving blessings  
Of that, how could I let go?  
_

He couldn't help the twist of his features as he saw Tadase, standing there in all his glory, smiling.

That lucky sap.

But his expression quickly changed to an emotionless one; it wouldn't be good if she were to find Ikuto scowling at Tadase, and this was surely not good. He couldn't stand not talking to her. He was too angry. He knew he wasn't really angry at her, it was at himself. Still, he didn't want to let it out on her. So he just sat there quietly, avoiding her gaze whenever she felt it on him.

Her mother granting her permission to marry, her father also, all her family members.

It made him sick. She asked him, and he hesitated, torn. But, the happiness and concern on her face made him say what he said.

_So, why…_

… _Did I end up falling for you?  
How we were before  
We can't return to it anymore  
I've thought it through (We can't return)  
I' ve thought it through (We can't return)  
_

Thinking it through, he realized:

There was no way to win her back now.

Not with Tadase in the way. As long as Tadase lives, her heart is attached to him. She probably didn't feel the way Ikuto did the way for Amu, so that was another unlikely chance to win her heart.

He should just give up, shouldn't he?

_Why…_  
…_Didn't I hold your hand?  
No matter how much time has passed  
You should've always been by my side (just like this)  
_

Why did she choose _him? _And not himself? Was he just not her type? Did he make her mind?

Questions were bombarded into his mind as he tried to figure this out, this mess. She should've been with _him, _not the dimwit. If only he had just said it with a little more feeling, a little more pressure, she would've come to his side. She probably would've had time to think about her feelings about him. But, no, Ikuto had made a mistake.

"I do."

Tadase's vow broke him out of his reverie. He didn't know if he could bear to hear Amu's next words, Amu's vow. So before she could even say them, or comprehend them, Ikuto stood up, fists clenched, walking down the aisle. He snuck a glance at Amu, saw her bite her lip. She glanced between Ikuto and Tadase, and for a moment, he saw a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. Did he have a chance if she ran away from this wedding? But, unfortunately, she looked back at Tadase, her posture relaxing as she smiled into his face.

No, he couldn't bear it. He couldn't hear it. After this wedding, things wouldn't return to normal; Ikuto wouldn't have the liberty to hang out with Amu as she wished. Her having Tadase's kids ... it was just too much to bare. After this, he wouldn't be in her life anymore.

_But still, even if I'm no where near you anymore  
I'm praying that you  
May be happy for eternity  
No matter how much it will make me lonely (or sad) ...  
_

He was about a yard away from the church's exit. Before he reached there, he was already murmuring a prayer for her:

_Please grant her happiness. Whichever way she can achieve it, with me or without. Make sure Tadase won't break her heart, that he is really the right guy for her as she says. _

_If you can, make her happy for as long as she lives. I don't care if you take away all my happiness, and have to place it in hers; I don't care, as long as she is healthy and well and happy._

_God, one thing I know for sure: She can be happy without me in her life, right?_

His hand was on the handle, gripping it, until his knuckles were white. The preacher was saying Amu's vows and Ikuto quickly turned the handle, hoping to not hear her answer. But, as he rapidly walked through the church exit, he heard two faint words that permanently twisted his view on the world in shades of gray:

"I do."

Bells rang.

People laughed. Some cried.

Claps were heard everywhere.

But he wasn't a part of it; and never wanted to be.

* * *

Ugh! Took so long for me to do this! Well, okay, not that long, but I had this song on my list of "SONGFICS TO MAKE" for a while now :/

Now, it's off the list~

Only… *counts* … three more left xD And two of the three are DBSK's songs xDDDD

OHMYGOD.

So sad! TT_TT The song is more sadder, like _WAY _sadder. I think I cried typing this.

Flames are more than welcome.  
Pointing out mistakes is fine.  
Suggestions are fine.  
Telling me you loved it is great!

**Review?**


	3. Promise Me

Okay, I didn't get to finish all the songfics this week. But, when I had announced it, it was like, on a Friday or something. So ... this "Songfic Week" ends next Friday.

This is not a DBSK song. The next one will probably be one. And the one after that. But, the one _after _the other _after_ will be a song by InnerPartySystem :D

Oooh, I just _love _them! .

-- Song: Promise Me  
-- Artist: Dead by April

* * *

Name: Promise Me

Genre: Angst // General

Rated: K+

**xSnowiisan does not own Shugo Chara! or "Promise Me."**

**

* * *

  
**

The teen laid on his roof, his back scratching against the shingles that lay. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he was about to answer it, but thought better of it. It was probably Amu anyway.

_Amu._

Ahh, yes, that girl. The girl that would never leave him alone; the girl that was always so worried about him; the girl that wanted him. He felt annoyed by her, though, he knew, deep down, he really did love the attention directed towards him.

_Into the fire on my own, hey!  
I know I won't see your face again, hey!  
Are you sitting there alone, he-ey!_

Ikuto sighed. He really did wish he could see Amu again. But, who knew what he could endanger her in if he did. He couldn't risk it. He wouldn't.

But, his conscious couldn't help but leak through some thoughts into his mind.

_One little visit won't do anything ..._

Just a glimpse at her face wouldn't do anything, would it? He wouldn't see her again after this, and his mind would stand that.

Suddenly, his skull radiated pain, a pain so intense that he immediately sat up, clutching his skull with both of his hands. His hands pressed against his skull, hoping the pressure of his hands would subside the pain. It felt like his whole mind was going on fire.

Soon, moments after, the pain _did _subside. Thinking about _her. _Usually he avoided thinking about her, but he couldn't help but think: Was she thinking about him? Was she alone, on a bench, thinking about him?

_Are you thinking like me --  
of the laughing times?  
Or of the sad, and loving times?  
Everything that's left of us,  
is fading away ..._

Ikuto bent on his toes, his fingers on the shingles of his roof as if to keep him from toppling over. The breeze blew through his hair, and his midnight-blue eyes focused on the pink sun setting against the horizon.

_Pink._

Why did everything have to remind him of _her?_ His phone vibrated in his pocket again, indicating he received a text. He pulled it out of his pocket, and flipped it open, reading the text.

_Hey, Ikuto!  
Meet me at the amusement park.  
I want to talk to you.  
I'll be waiting. ^^_

_-- Amu_

Ikuto sighed, putting the phone back in his pocket. Once again, he had the sudden urge to meet her.

_Just one glimpse at her face, and then I'm done ..._

He leaped from his roof, landing in front of his house. He started taking the shortcut to the place he spent so much time in, and in a minute, he'd arrived. Peeking from the trees surrounding the perimeter, he saw her. Unfortunately, Amu's eyes roamed over, and she saw him. Her hands waved in the air, indicating to _"come over here!"_

Ikuto cursed under his breath, and started walking – slowly – towards her, each step taking an agonizing minute.

Right then and there, he wondered if Amu had been thinking about him all this time. The times where they were laughing, or was she thinking of the sad times he'd shared with her? It had been such a long time since he'd return to Japan, and Amu had known of his appearance just the other day. _Was _she thinking about him? Or was she thinking about ... Tadase?

_Promise me to think of us, as a time so wonderful  
Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colorful  
Promise me to look back at us, as a time in your life you enjoyed ..._

When he finally reached her, the first thing he noticed was her hair.

It had grown till her waist.

What happened to her shoulder-length hair she kept?

"Now, you'll probably thinking of my hair," she exclaimed, a bright smile on her face.

He forced a smirk.

"Oh? What happened to it?"

She narrowed her eyes and playfully punched his arm. For some reason, the hit physically hurt him more than he intended it'd do.

"Stupid!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Tadase liked it better this way!"

Ikuto immediately felt something twist in his stomach, and he forced the words out of his mouth.

"You're dating Tadase?" The words felt bitter in his mouth. She looked at him, bewildered.

"Of course! I mentioned it on the other text. Didn't you read it?"

Suddenly, he wished she'd say she'd still remember the times with him. Just once he wanted the words out of her mouth.

_Surrounded by flames everywhere  
What I used to be, I'm not even there  
The absence of you is killing me, he-ey ..._

The pain came again.

Ikuto's hands flew to his skull, and he gripped it, falling to his knees.

"Ikuto? Ikuto!" Amu's voice was frantic, but it was beginning to fade as the pain replaced it. Now, even having Amu's presence near him, and thinking as hard as he could about her, the pain still wouldn't go away. It was lingering – lingering and waiting for a chance to attack. Maybe it was that she was dating Tadase. Maybe it was because she'd seem like she ... changed, somehow.

_Are you thinking like me  
of the laughing times?  
Or of the sad, and loving times?  
Everything that's left of us,  
is fading away ..._

Slow by slow, bit by bit, the pain was easing away, at least taking away a chunk of his memory. The horrid thing was, every time he experienced one of these ... _seizures, _he couldn't remember some of the times with Amu. Even if someone used keywords to jog his memory, it wouldn't work. The most absurd thing? _It was only memories with Amu._

Was he meant to forget her? Forget her, and move on? He couldn't. He wouldn't.

"Ikuto, are you all right?"

It was Amu, and Ikuto stood up, grabbing her hand as sweat beaded his forehead. He forced a smile, wanting to forget what happened in the past minute for a second and just focus on the time he had with her.

"Come on, Amu. Let's go ride the teacups." Even though there was concern and uncertainty in her eyes, she gradually moved with him towards the teacups. A memory jerked back into his mind as he sat into the teacup, his fingers pausing on the wheel that would sin the cup:

"_It's just your character?"_

_Amu looked down at her lap, fidgeting with her fingers._

"_Yeah, you see, since I have a younger sister, I have to act like her older sister. I have to act like I can protect her and have my parents trust me with her. That's why usually I can't ride what I want when we go to a carnival – even when I want to."_

_She shrugged, and looked off towards the other sparkling rides._

_Ikuto gazed at her for a minute before looking away._

"_Yeah. I know what you mean. I," he took a deep breath. "I used to come here with them a long time ago. Though this place is gonna shut down next month."_

_Amu didn't question him when he said, "them", but looked at him, suddenly smiling brightly._

"_You know," she started shyly, and Ikuto looked her way. "since this has been a new time coming here for me, maybe you should make it a new beginning for yourself!"_

Maybe Ikuto wasn't completely losing his mind. This memory he would hold on to, and wouldn't let _anyone – _not even these seizures take it away.

_Promise me to think us, as a time so wonderful  
Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colorful  
Promise me to look back at us, as a time in your life, you enjoyed ..._

Amu had been spacing out too, Ikuto noticed. But she had snapped back to attention just a minute after Ikuto did. She suddenly smiled – a smile that didn't hold too much excitement, or too much enjoyment, but a regular smile she used to have.

"Remember the last time we rode on here?" she asked. Ikuto looked at her, stifling a laugh.

"I almost thought you forgot." he sighed, looking away.

"Why would I forget something like that?" she asked, tilting her head in that way when she was curious. He looked at her, and shrugged it off, getting off the ride that wasn't even playing.

"You're so naïve." He walked out, Amu trailing behind him.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" she exclaimed, grabbing the back of his jacket, and pulling him back. Ikuto looked at her breathless figure, her eyes determined. It was nice to have the old Amu back, at least for a second.

"Amu, I need you to prom --"

"Shut up." She had said it quietly her bangs covering her eyes and her figure shaking. "I'm _not _naïve anymore, Ikuto. I'm not the little girl you think I am."

He had to admit that; she had grown. She was sixteen, an age close to becoming a woman. Ikuto sighed, closing his eyes, and his mouth twitched.

_(Promise me, promise me)  
I will be fine without you  
(Promise me, promise me)  
There's more in my life to see you  
(Promise me, promise me)  
I will be fine without you  
(Promise me, promise me)  
There's more in my life to see you ...  
(Can you promise me?)  
To see you ..._

"Okay, never mind all that," Amu blushed, fidgeting once again with her fingers. "I – I want to tell you something."

Ikuto looked at her, probing her.

"Yeah?"

"Um, well, u – uh, you know, me and Tadase are ... you know? Dating, right?"

Ikuto went rigid all over.

"_And?"_

"Well, we're planning to r – run off and g – get married."

Ikuto's body jerked. He was the one calling Amu naïve, but truly, he was the one naïve himself. Thinking that after all these years, returning to Japan, he'd win Amu's heart. But how could he, when the girl he loved right in front of him, was planning to run off and get married with Tadase? He cleared his throat, and turned, almost walking away without a word. But something inside him urged him to say something, and that Amu was waiting for a response from him.

"Th – that's ... a creative idea." he chuckled, and was surprised he could do at least that much. "Okay, fine. That's ... all right with me."

He could live without her. He had, these past few years, hadn't he? With each day passing by agonizingly, but he had done it, hadn't he?

_Promise me to think of us, as a time so wonderful (wonderful)  
Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colorful (colorful)  
Promise me to look back at us, as a time in your life you enjoyed ..._

Ikuto gazed at the ground where Amu's tiny feet stood, and swallowed.

"That's _it? _Nothing? No, _'Congratulations!'_ or _'I'm so proud of you!'" _

Why would he be proud of her? Ikuto glanced at her, and then averted his eyes.

"Congratulations, then ..." he muttered, still not looking at her.

He heard her "Hmph" and he glanced up, finding her stalking back towards the gate exits.

"Wait, Amu!" She turned to look at him, her eyes narrowed.

"What?"

He took a deep breath.

"I need you to do me a favor," he explained. "a huge favor."

This got Amu's interest, and she was walking back slowly, towards him.

"And what is that?"

"Promise," he breathed, turning towards her. "to remember me."

Even though he said those words, he knew she would surely forget him. If not now, then in a few years. Even though she would, he would never.

* * *

THERE.

Songfic #4 done.

With so much going on in my life, I manage to finish this ... thing :P LOL xD

Eh, whatever. Now ... you know the drill :D

I update a Songfic, you read it, and then you .... :D

Flames are more than welcome.  
Pointing out mistakes is fine.  
Suggestions are okay.  
Telling me you loved it is great!

**Review? :D**


	4. Written

Well.

This is something I haven't wrote in a long time. A one-shot/drabble. Anything less than 2,500+ words to me is considered a drabble. And so, this fits into the "Songfics & Drabbles" title of this . . . drabble.

So, _technically, _this isn't a one-shot. It's a drabble.

Also, this something Mortal (me; changed my pen name :P) hasn't done in a _long _time:

Written in Amu's point of view.

I felt that writing in Amu's point of view for this drabble would be the best way to get her feelings across of her pain and heartbreak and tragedy and . . . Well, you get the point. So, don't through rocks at me if Amu's POV is sucky. I haven't written first person in a long time. Usually, as you've (hopefully) noticed, I write in third person. Well, I do—now.

Anyways. Here it is.

* * *

**Name: _Written_  
Genre: Angst/Tragedy**  
(WARNING: TOTAL ANGST CHAPTER)**  
Rated: K+**

**Summary: **_And so she would write whatever happened that horrible, horrible day. And she wouldn't write the tragic story once—she'll write it again and again, until her very own death._

**.Mortal-Device does not own any characters**

**

* * *

**

I curled into myself as I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Amu?" It was a soft voice—a soft voice I recognized as Utau's voice. "Can I come in?"

In my hoarse voice, I yelled, "Go away!"

I didn't want anybody to come in my room—having just experienced something so excruciating, it was hard to earn the pity from someone else. The only way I knew they sent me pity was through their voices through the door. That was why I decided to cover my ears and scream into my pillow for a while so I couldn't hear their voices going, "Amu? Are you okay?"

I heard the footsteps of Utau walk away—probably out of thinking it was no use to talk to me.

I walked to my study desk, the hem of my transparent nightgown touching the wooden floors. I sat down on my chair, and dug into my drawers to take out a quill pen and a piece of parchment.

I would write this. To make me remember this tragic day forever and forever, no matter how long it would haunt me.

I dipped my quill into the ink and begin to write.

_December 12, 1909_

_Dear Diary,_

_I cannot stop my hand from shaking. Even now, my written entry has been looking scrawly._

_The impact of what happened this very evening has shocked me greatly. Even now, I cannot stop the tears rolling down my cheek. They drip onto the paper in a dripping motion, wetting my diary slowly, dot by dot. _

_The tears that run down my cheek carry the sorrow of a lifetime. Even I haven't experience much sorrow my whole life. I had been a happy girl, blessed with great friends and family, and by a person I loved greatly. Well, if you counted _me _loving _him,_ a blessing. _

_It had been a calm evening, the stars coming out to twinkle in the night, the moon hanging full on the sky, the trees being swayed by the wind, and the sound of violins enveloping me in the cool evening. Even then, I had been proud of my violinist, being able to overcome any obstacle in his course for his lifelong career. I had very much admired him for that._

_Maybe if I had done something to prevent his death, I wouldn't be here, writing this._

_But, back to the subject; I had pulled on my best dress that special evening—one made of the silkiest fabric in the color of the darkest blue. I had always saved the dress for this occasion—the occasion of meeting him again. Ikuto._

_My hair was combed through, my dress fitted into perfectly, and my heart beating undeniably fast against my chest._

_Suddenly, there had been a knock on my bedroom door. I opened the door, finding my good friend Utau, who was also Ikuto's obsessive sister. She leaned against my door frame, her lavender colored dress fitted nicely, and her hair tied in two, long pigtails. _

"_Ready?" she had asked, and I nodded vigorously._

_Then, we both stepped out on the threshold, our hearts hammering in our chests._

_By the time I had reached the gathering, everyone had been in their respected positions. The whole orchestra consisted of flutes and piccolos and trumpets and most of all—violins. Utau and I had sat in our seats, excitement brimming on our faces._

_The instructor of the orchestra had stepped forward, his long, purple hair flowing down his back. He smiled. "Hello," he had greeted the crowd with a bow. "I am honored to make your acquaintance. My name is Fujisaki Nagihiko, and I'll be your instructor today. I would like to thank . . ." That was when I stopped listening, and my eyes impatiently roamed through the seated people to find Ikuto. When I spot him, his eyes locked onto mine, as if he knew I was had been looking at him. He smiled then—a genuine smile I hadn't seen in _years.

"—_And now, I would like to bring Tsukiyomi-san to our center stage!" _

_A round of applause went around, cheers and hoots coming from the crowd. He stood at the center of the wooden stage, his violin propped up on his shoulder. His eyes had focused on me, and I felt my cheeks warm at the contact. _

"_This is for you," he mouthed, looking at me right in the eye. Then, his voice rose, scanning the crowd. "This is for the person I love most!" _

_As his hand held the bow started to strum lightly over the strings of the violin, I felt tears spring to my eyes. Had he_

My hand set down the quill, my shaky fingers caressing the dents from the numerous pages of writing. Tears cascaded slowly down my cheeks as I thought about his smile—the last smile I ever saw on his beautiful, beautiful face.

But the thought provoking words at that time had sent a shiver of delight and doubt through me: Had he really loved me in such a way? Did he really mean what I thought he meant? Was this just his teasing? Did he mean it in a brother/sister kind of love?

I sat there, on arms on the desk, fingers twitching in aggravation. If only I had asked! If only I had asked before he left—left for so long for his violin tour. After a few minutes of just sitting there, I took the quill in my right hand again, and begin to finish my previous sentence.

—_loved me?_

_It was at that time, that the horrible thing happened. He had sunk to the ground after playing the first few notes of a delightful song, and people began to cry out in horror. And he hadn't just sunk to the ground in fatigue, it was because someone had shot him._

_Shot him. Right then and there. _

_How I would know? The pool of blood surrounding his lifeless body. Even from where I had been sitting, I could see how lifeless he looked. His pale skin revealed it all. While other people stood frozen for a second before screaming and running for their lives, leaving Ikuto behind, I stayed glued to my seat, staring at horror at him. At that time, I couldn't believe it at first. My eyes felt glazed at I stared at him, and then I felt a forced tug on my arm. I turned my head to find who it was—Utau._

"_Amu!" She looked frightened as she tugged on my sleeve forcefully. "Get moving! You might be shot too!" _

_But, I just sat there, staring at her hand._

"_No," I had said. "I'm going to say goodbye to him."_

_Utau looked at me for second, before whispering and kissing my cheek. "Good luck." _

_And then she was gone. _

_In the chaos of the running pedestrians, I ran with all my might towards him on the stage. His head was facing my way, so if he was alive he could see me running towards him. His eyes widened when he saw me and I felt a little spark of hope ignite inside me. _

"_Ikuto!" I had cried, climbing the center stage. "Ikuto, hang on!"_

_I held onto his cold hand as he looked at me for a second. _

"_Amu? Amu, is that you? Is that really you?" He asked, and I gripped both his hands tightly. _

"_Yes," I smiled, tears watering in my eyes. "Yes, Ikuto. It's me—Amu."_

_He gasped one more time, his chest heaving heavily as if to strain till his last breath. "Thank you," he whispered, smiling once again at me. "Thank you for coming."_

_A small shriek left my lips as I looked at him. He was dying. Yes, he was dying and I had to say goodbye._

"_Goodbye, Ikuto," I whispered, and his lips twitched up into an even greater smile. _

_And then he closed his eyes. Slowly they went down, taking the last of his soul with him. His pale skin had gone even paler as I looked at him, and the temperature of his skin dropped tremendously. I could feel his limp hand now in my easing grasp, and it fell to the floor with a small _thud. _I laid my head down on his chest, hoping that a miracle would come and let me hear his heartbeat; if not, then at least once—once I wish I could hear his heart beating in his chest. But, my ears could detect no sound from his chest. It reminded me of one time, when I was a little girl, at just the age of seven, I had gotten lost in the dark. It was nightfall, and I was outside, trying to find my way home. My parents had me with them at the supermarket, but I had run off, hoping to explore my new town I had moved into. By the time I was done with my own personal tour, it had been dark, my parents no where to be seen. After a hour of crying out of fear and helplessness, Ikuto had come and helped me. He had led me back to town, from where I had found my parents' house and been Ikuto's friend ever since. But, now, that dead silence in his chest didn't have no one to come and help him. He was lost in the dark forever. The darkness of his body. At least, I prayed his soul went to heaven if not his body. _

_Now the chaos was gone, and down the aisle of crashed chairs stood a man in ripped clothing. His suit was ripped from people gripping him to escape. His long, violet hair now had been tied back with a ponytail. His expression contained a mix of emotions from sympathy to awe to shock._

"_Hinamori Amu, am I not correct?" he asked, stretching out his hand for a handshake. My hand didn't lift from their sides, fearing if I had touched this man's hand, I'd lose the touch of Ikuto's. I nodded._

_Almost, as if from awkwardness, his hand dropped to his side as he strode towards me. I had thought he was going to stop in front of me, but he went past me, leaning down to whisper so lightly into my ear that I almost didn't catch it._

"_Tsukiyomi-san did love you very much, Hinamori-san."_

I set down my quill, and refused the tears to leak from my eyes. I had to be done grieving over him. Of course, the memory of that day would stay with me forever—but I have to move on. I promised myself I wouldn't marry anyone after that day—not even if anyone tried to force me. I'd run away if I had to.

For a moment, a smile twitched at the corner of my lips.

I gathered up the papers of my writing, and read them.

"_Tsukiyomi-san did love you very much, Hinamori-san."_

I smiled when I read the last sentence, and closed my eyes.

"I loved you very much also, Tsukiyomi Ikuto."

* * *

DONE!

I actually wrote this up, believe it or not. Wrote like, half of it, and then typed it up with a few tweaks here and there. Also, in case you didn't notice the "December 12, 1909," this takes place in the hold times. That's why I have "quill" and (trying) the old, crazy talk.

So.

Tell me how good I did on it.

Please?

Criticism is always appreciated.

**Review?**


	5. Marry Me

Well, over the days—weeks, actually—that I have been . . . . gone, I have watched the two most amazing movies.

_My Name is Khan_

and_  
_

_Homeless to Harvard_

So, I suggest you guys watch either of these movies. **My Name is Khan **is an Indian movie, so you might wanna find one with subtitles. It's so ... inspiring to me. **Homeless to Harvard **is a a true story of how Liz Murray, a homeless girl, studied and went to school, and actually got accepted into Harvard University. So, I thought it was really cool. :)

Anyway, this one-shot is for XxDiamondForeverxX. The person who keeps on bugging me to actually make a _romance_ one-shot/songfic, where neither one of the characters dies. So, here it is, Diamond. And thanks for actually having the guts to hurt my feelings ;_; Nah, I'm kidding :P All righty, then Diamond. Happy?

* * *

**Name: **Marry Me

**Rated: **K+

**Genre: **Romance/Hurt/Comfort

**Summary: **"Marry me, Amu." He said just three simple words, but the girl didn't have a clue how to respond. "I just met you!" Then she made her bet, saying if he won, she'd marry him. So ... who won the bet?

* * *

**xImmortal-Device/xSnowiisan does not own Shugo Chara!.**

"Marry me, Amu."

He said just three simple words, but the girl didn't have a clue how to respond.

"I just met you, for God's sake!" Her face was the color of the reddest crimson color he had ever seen, and he knew, right then and there that she was "the one." Ikuto had been going around, stepping up to women he thought were pretty or beautiful, or whatever those words were and saying, "Marry me." Most of them would be carrying bags or purses and would fling them at him. They hadn't blushed—their expressions were of annoyance and irritation. Amu was the first girl he'd had been talking to, trying to get to know her and trying a different technique before telling her to marry him. "You don't even know me."

Ikuto smirked. They were currently on the streets, the sky darkening in their wait. Most people had either shut down their shops or were going back home. And since they lived in the suburban part of Tokyo, most people weren't on the streets than in the place of the urban Tokyo. "I do know you," he said, and Amu raised a eyebrow that hinted doubt. "I know you like to draw, you're very athletic, like to cook, and have an unusual craving for Chine—"

"That's because I just told you this!" Her face wasn't helping much; even in the short time he'd known her, he felt as if he wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to wrap his arms around the girl's small, petite frame. It was an unusual need he found in her. Only her.

"Your point?" He raised his eyebrows, taunting her. "So? Isn't that all I need to know?"

Amu crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, towards the moon. "No! I mean," she sighed. "Going up to someone and saying them to marry you ... it's so unusual, okay? I'm not," she stared at her bracelet on her hand, thinking about her ex-boyfriend, Tadase. "I'm not looking for someone to marry. I _have _someone I'm waiting for. He's just ... away, for the time being."

Ikuto stood still beside her. It wasn't exactly hurting him to know she already had someone she loved, but there was this feeling, a feeling he wasn't recognizing. "How long has he been away?"

She cleared her throat. "Seven years."

"And you expect him to be back by now? What if he ran off with a girl?" Ikuto knew he was being cruel, but someone being gone for seven years? It was illogical—naive—to think that the boy she loved would be back by now, still in love with her.

She had twisted her shaking body towards him, and her hands were clenched tight. Her eyes burned with furious anger. "My Tadase has _not _ran off with a girl! He ... he said he loved me, he couldn't have ..."

The anger in her eyes had subsided, but in its stead there was hurt, doubt, and confusion. "My Tadase wouldn't ever do that. He just wouldn't ..."

"You'd be surprised," Ikuto scoffed. "what this world has to offer."

He thought of his father. Of his mother. Of his sister.

Amu glanced at him. "I'm too naïve."

"Yeah," Ikuto breathed. "You are."

He wanted to hug her again. _Fine, fine, _he thought, _it wouldn't hurt._

He quickly dropped an arm on her shoulder, and pulled her in for a hug. His mouth rested on the crook of her. "Here," he said, handing her his number as he let go. "Whenever you feel like you need a hand, call me."

As he walked away, Amu felt her heart skip a bit, and a smile slowly lighted her lips.

.: M a r r y – M e :.

**Three months later.**

"Ikuto!" Amu laughed, slapping his arm, playfully. "No! I'm not marrying you!"

Ikuto pouted, and Amu couldn't help but notice how cute and kitty-like he looked. "Aww, Amu-chii, why not?"

Her face reddened in embarrassment. "D-d-don't say 'chii'!"

He smirked, and his arms enveloped her, tossing her back on the couch. He held her by the wrists, pinned onto the couch, and leaned forward, so his head was almost touching hers. Amu's golden orbs had widened, and he could hear her breath hitching. He inwardly grinned. _I bet that Tadase didn't have this effect on Amu, _he thought. He was quite proud of it, actually.

He purposely rose his face higher so that his breath would blow across her cheekbones. "Marry me?" he whispered huskily, and Amu blushed.

"Okay," she breathed, and Ikuto eyes widened.

"Seriously?"

"On one condition," she added, and Ikuto raised an eyebrow. "Actually, two. First, get—off—me." Ikuto looked as if he didn't have the desire to get up from the position he was in. Reluctantly, though, he nodded and pulled himself up. They sat side by side, Ikuto looking intently at Amu. Over the three months the started knowing her, he felt compelled to protect her, be by her side no matter what. So much had happened in the three months he first met her, from her bottled up emotions, and her eventually giving up on Tadase. It had taken some time, and she was still a bit sensitive about the subject, but she was better than she was before.

"What's the second condition?" Ikuto asked. He was getting a bit impatient.

"The second one, is a bet."

"A bet?" he echoed.

Amu nodded. "Yeah. A bet."

Ikuto looked away so she wouldn't see his smirk. He would _surely _win this bet. _Hello, wedding._

"'Kay," he breathed, looking back at her. "Tell me."

"It's pretty easy," Amu shrugged. "You have to take me somewhere, _anywhere—_in Tokyo, but it has to be someplace I have never been."

Ikuto sighed. "In Tokyo? _Only _in Tokyo?"

Amu smirked. "Yep."

"F-U."

She laughed loudly, and slumped against his shoulder. She breathed in the husky scent of him, and sighed, satisfied. He didn't stink today. "So?" she asked. "Accept the challenge or not?"

"Oh, heck yeah."

Amu laughed. "All right. Let's see how you do this thing, eh?"

Ikuto picked up Amu slightly, and sat her on his lap. She blushed, and grabbed his shirt, hiding her head on the crook of his armpit. "Aww, come on, Amu," he cooed. "Show that little, beautiful face of yours." She shook her head, the movement fumbled. "Don't make me pick up your head."

She deliberated for a moment, and he thought she wasn't going to for a second, but she slowly lifted her head, her eyes cast sideways. She wouldn't look at him in the eye, and Ikuto had a pretty good guess why, eying her red cheeks. He sighed. "All right," he stuck out his tongue. "Put your head down. I gotta get home. But, meet me at the Tokyo Mall tomorrow at 5:15."

"I've already been there, though."

Ikuto's eyes narrowed in irritation, and he flicked her forehead. "Dummy. That's our _meeting _place. And I'll make sure to wrap a bandanna around your eyes so you won't see where I'm taking you."

Amu frowned. "Meanie."

"It's necessary."

"Still. Meanie."

Ikuto laughed. "Still. It's necessary."

Ikuto stood up, and stretched staring at the TV. He had come over to her house to watch a _movie, _but instead, the whole time they had been talking and teasing each other. "Well," he said. "that was a nice movie, eh?"

Amu blinked. "Huh? Oh, yeah."

He leaned in slowly and pecked her on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

She blushed, but quickly pecked him back on the cheek. When he turned to look at her though, her eyes weren't looking at him, but instead on the sewing of the couch's pillow. "Yeah," she swallowed. "I'll see you later."

And when Ikuto left the house, the people around him couldn't help but notice how his face was shining.

**:.:**

She stood awkwardly against the front door of the Tokyo Mall, her eyes scanning impatiently around the crowd that was hurdling through the front door. She sighed, glancing at her wrist watch. _6:00. _He was forty-five minutes late, and she was about to give up and go home when someone grabbed her from the wrist, pulling her towards the lesser part of the mall where less hoi polloi were roaming around. Her throat was building up a scream when she felt the soft, yet calloused hand pressing hard against her back. The scent of him had told her that it was indeed, Ikuto.

"What's with this profligacy?" she shrieked, and Ikuto raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know, it's a big word. Search it up." She stuck her tongue out on him. "You scared the _crap _out of me."

Ikuto smirked. "Yeah, I know," And his grin widened when he saw her gap. "But, never mind that, turn around." She obediently turned around, and Ikuto wrapped the bandanna around her eyes, tying it on the back of her head.

"How am I going to see now?" she whined.

Ikuto leaned down, so his lips were close to her ear. "I'll carry you, princess."

He lifted her up onto his arms, and she flung her arms uselessly onto his chest. "Put—me—_down._"

Ikuto knew she didn't see it, but he smirked nonetheless. "Don't make a racket. You don't want people staring at us, right?"

He heard Amu growl and his grin widened. "And you better not have that aggravating smirk on your face."

Ikuto chuckled, a deep sound in his throat and Amu liked the sound of it. Her heart beat rapidly against her chest as he walked, and she couldn't help but _feel _like a princess against his strong chest.

She felt like the princess carried by the prince.

Of course the thought of princes brought her back to her memories with Tadase. Strangely, they were memories where she couldn't remember most of the details. It didn't bother her, but yet she felt as if she wanted to remember the only happy times in her life—the time when Ikuto came into her life.

It felt too sudden, when Ikuto suddenly placed her down on the ground. She leveled herself with his arm and he whispered into her ear. "Stay here, someone will untie your bandanna. And _don't move._"

Amu stood perfectly straight, excitement brimming on her face. Her eyes weren't visible, but her face was, and it was glowing. She felt rough hands untying her bandanna, and she blinked, opening them.

What she saw took her breath away.

Ikuto was holding a violin, besides the railing that separated the land from the ocean. The ocean splashed against the concrete wall, and the setting sun cast a glow against the silhouette of Ikuto. His eyes were closed, and as his fingers on bow moved, a beautiful sound erupted from the strings of the instrument. In that simple note, all the memories came flooding back to her. All the happy memories she had almost forgotten a tiny bit with Ikuto came back to her. Tears of joy cascaded down her cheeks, and her hands covered her mouth. _Ikuto, _she thought, _you idiot. _

The song lasted for about five minutes, and in those five minutes she felt the most serenity she ever had.

The song slowly ended on a long note, and Ikuto carefully set down his violin, and watched her face. Seeing the tears, he came running down, and shook her shoulders, a tinge of panic on his features. "Amu?" he asked. "Amu, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "T-t-that was the most beautiful sound I've _ever _heard."

Ikuto sighed shakily, and his smile looked a bit lopsided. It was the first time she had ever seen him so ungraceful. He hugged her tightly. "You scared me there for a second."

Amu laughed. "Thank you, Ikuto."

He pulled away, and looked intently at her. She gazed intently back. "You're so _different _than other guys, Ikuto," she whispered, and Ikuto smiled. A true, genuine smile.

"And you're different from other girls, Amu."

She smiled, and hugged him tightly. When she pulled away, he knelt on his knees, pulling out a small ring box from his pocket. She didn't have time to notice her clothes, since she was so keen on the idea that he wasn't going to win.

"Will you marry me?"

The tears Amu had held back erupted from her, and she smiled through them. She nodded. "Yes," she whispered. Then, a little louder, "Yes!"

Amu didn't know if it was Ikuto's doing, but as he slipped the ring on her finger, and enveloped her in his arms for a kiss—their _first_ kiss, fireworks shot up in the sky. And they both whispered three words that they had been holding back for quite some time:

"I love you."

* * *

There. I'm quite proud of it, but any criticism is appreciated. I've worked quite hard on it, and I'd appreciate it if you guys review on it.

Hope you like it, Diamond! ^^

**Criticism is always appreciated.**

**Review? **


	6. Tea For Two

Ko-ni-chi-wa, minna-san ~

Yepp. Well, hey. Lalala, I'm thinking of stories on the way o-o;; Lmao. I'm gonna have more than 20-something stories for _Shugo Chara!._ Lawl. Well, that's only if I stick around.

Hey, I've got a random question;; what would you do if I _died?_ :O Oh, no! Lol. Jk. xD Erm, why am I talking like this? Okay, well, songfic number four.

Woopdedo! Be happy for me—I am releasing my _fourth—_shall I repeat?—_fourth_ songfic. I bet either one of you don't have as much as me :3 Lawl. Be jealous D:

* * *

**Name: **Tea for Two**  
Artist:** Dong Bang Shin Ki**  
Genre: **Romance / Fluff**  
Rating: **K+

* * *

**Everything is copyrighted to their respected owners.  
Therefore, I do not own **_**Shugo Chara! **_**nor** _**Tea for Two.**_

_**

* * *

**_

He sighed contently as he watched the wind sway the branches of the tree, making it hammer against his living room window from where he lay on the couch.

_The light wavers in the wind  
The table serving tea for two  
I'm lying on the sofa  
Gazing at you_

The Japanese style table lay between him and his new wife, who was cooking in the kitchen that was the attached to the living room. He smiled as he stared at the small, Japanese style cups on the table, steaming with warmth. He turned his gaze on his loving wife, Amu, and chuckled quietly. He was so lucky to have met her.

_You seem to be singing something  
While continuing on reading the recipe  
I wonder what you are making  
Because I can feel the scent of lemon and vanilla  
But, if you're the one making it  
Just only that would be enough to make me happy  
It would last forever, just like this_

Once he chuckled, Amu looked up at him. She was humming something, he suddenly realized, while cooking. She frowned at him. "What are you staring at, pervert?"

He chuckled. "Still with that same phrase, huh? Even though I'm your husband."

She blushed and continued cooking. After a minute, she looked at him and said, "It's almost finished."

He sniffed the air, vanilla and lemon flowing up his nostrils. He made a face. "Is that ... _vanilla_?"

Amu narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, what—" Suddenly remembering, she dropped the spoon she was holding and blushed. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ikuto, I totally for—"

"It's all right," He laughed. "I'm sure anything you make is good."

Amu's tense shoulder relaxed, and she smiled. "I really am sorry, though."

Knowing how things were right now, he wanted this moment to last forever. Forever and ever.

_Important, so important  
You're my most important person in the world  
Forever and ever  
Let me look at you smiling by my side_

His thought wandered from how lucky he was; to how beautiful she was; to how important she was to him. _I would do anything,_ he thought, _anything at all for her._

It really was worth it just to see her smile like she was right now.

_It's a lie that I wanted to help you out  
I just wanted to kiss you  
Embracing you from behind  
Asking you, "How's the cooking?"_

Finally, getting up from the comfortable couch, he walked into the kitchen, putting his arms on the counter, and smirked. "Need any help?"

Amu dropped her spoon from the her hand once again. "Since when do _you,_ the great Tsukiyomi Ikuto help the poor, innocent, wife?"

It was a lie; he didn't really feel like helping her; he just felt like kissing her and cuddling her and knew that this would at least, lure her in. "Let me remind that _you_ have fallen for the great Tsukiyomi Ikuto, hence, your name being Tsukiyomi Amu."

Amu just rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll stir this, but I need you to mix that." She pointed to the bowl of the lemon-y scent, that looked something like with the looks of custard.

After a few minutes of a comfortable silence, Ikuto took this as his chance. He left his duty, and hugged her from behind. She gasped in surprise and dropped her spoon.

For the third time.

Ikuto held back the laugh as he stared at her embarrassed, yet angry face. Leaning forward, he breathed into her ear, "How's the cooking?"

She turned around in his arms, her face still red from embarrassment. He loved that he still got that reaction from her.

And then, she slapped him, playfully.

"That," she giggled. "is for making me drop my spoon _three times. _And this," She lightly punched his chest. "is for scaring me."

Ikuto lifted her into his arms. "Why you little ..."

His words were at lost because he was kissing her. He placed her down on the ground again, and in a second, the kiss was heated; hands tangled into hair, warm bodies pressed together, and tongues lost in each others mouths.

Suddenly, breaking apart, a bit breathless, Amu whispered, "You lied. You just wanted to kiss me."

She felt him grin against her mouth. "I know," he said. "But, I don't hear you complaining."

_If the world was to end tomorrow  
I still want to smile like this  
To the you who keeps reading the recipe  
I am going to kiss you  
And tell you, "I love you"  
And you'll just simply nod your head  
Just like today_

He kissed her once, twice, even a third time. Breaking away, he whispered, "I love you."

Her face immediately brightened and she nodded. "I know."

It didn't matter to him if the food was burning. It didn't matter to him that the weather was bad. Heck, it didn't matter to him if the world was to end to tomorrow.

All he felt, hoped, breathed, and saw was her.

_You and you only  
Can make me strong and weak  
I love you and love you more  
Afraid to think what if you don't love me  
Even if it's painful, I still want to protect you_

Breaking away, Ikuto laughed and loosely hug his arms around her. When she was with him, he felt strong and free. He knew, that if she were to leave him, he would only appear strong, but not on the inside. He'd be fragile, easily broken.

She was everything he needed to make him who he was now.

_Important, so important  
You're my most important person in the world  
More than anything and everything  
Our encounter is such a bliss  
Just the two of us together like this  
Just simply enjoying sweet moments like this ..._

He once again felt to have these moments last forever.

With her by his side.

He suddenly kiss and hugged her to him. Staying that way for a few minutes, Amu laughed, saying, "Okay, okay, that's enough. I gotta get back to my cooking." And so, both adults cooked in the kitchen, laughing and teasing each other.

And, all the while, the tea sitting on the table stayed warm.

* * *

Cute? Maybe. Hot? Definitely not. Meaningless? Pretty much. Crap compared to other songfics? Yepp.

It is now exactly 2:00 AM. And I started writing this around 10 PM-ish.

Wanna make chibi Lorene happy? :3 Review.

**Like, NAO.**

**Review.  
And that's a command.**

**v**

**v**

**v**


	7. Rambles of a Total Spazz

;;_;;

Hi. Updated again, yes, I know. This time, this _will not_ be about Amuto. This is a ramble.

Hence, the new name: **Ramblings of a Total Spazz. **

I am going to go all angst-y on you guys here.

Because.

I am. So. Depressed. That. Shugo Chara!. Has. Ended.

If you haven't noticed, I've already started my rambling.

And, my stomach hurts like heck. Because. I miss. Shugo Chara!. So. Much.

I usually don't do this. Don't get me wrong; I loved it since the first time I laid my eyes on it ... but it's _over_. It's hard to believe, you know? It's been going on for four years and now it's ... _done._

Well.

There's one thing I'm positive of.

_I'll still be reading/writing Shugo Chara fan fictions._

Now, the question is, _will you?_

Lawlz. I sound like a game show host or something.


	8. one smile

Okay, finally, an update. -enter heart here-

I'm trying to get all my stories updated ... And you know _why _I'm suddenly updating? Well, let's just say one of my all time favorite stories was updated and I feel _INSPIRED. _

Anyway, I will be writing more stories for SC!. I know I told some people I won't be, but, never mind! I am! : D

A short story with be coming up soon, so wait for it. ;D (And, so, is like, I dunno, four months, due to my stupid procrastinating self =_=;;)

* * *

[ ` _o n e _**s m i l e** ]

"_I need you.  
I need you so much.  
So smile for me,  
because I need you."  


* * *

_**  
Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara!, and never will.**

The depressed woman sat by the cold window, her fuchsia hair in a mess and her fingers so hot that they were numb from the now warm cup of coffee in her hands. The coldness radiated from the glass window, cooling the the woman's forehead that was placed on the window. Her over sized sweater stopped about four inches above her porcelain knees. Each day the woman sat—sat and never complained. Whether the weather outside was snowing, raining, or boiling hot, she lamented beside the window—always. Today, the weather was raining, small droplets falling onto her front lawn and the window.

In the distance, inside the woman's house, her phone rang. She let it answer to her voice mail.

"_Hi, you've reached Hinamori Amu, so sorry I couldn't pick up your call. Leave your name and number and I'll call you back soon ..."_

_BEEP._

"_Amu ... it's Nagihiko. Call me back soon. I need to talk to you."_

Ever since _he_ had left, her gregarious attitude had left her. She could still remember: it was today, two years ago, November 17, when he had left. His two year anniversary of disappearance.

Ever since _he_ had left, her gregarious attitude had left her. Amu was always someone who'd people come to her for help—whether it was about boys, school, or overall job problems, everyone came to her. They valued Hinamori Amu, found her to be exciting and outgoing. She had everything thing she wanted, too—kind friends, a good job, a great life, even a beautiful love life.

_Ikuto._

He had left. Just out all of a sudden, he left. Left her and his family, out somewhere. The only thing she knew was he took his violin with him, and nothing else. He told no one where he was going—and so, no one ever knew. She remembered, suddenly, the night before his disappearance:

_The door bell had rung when she had just finished dressing up in her pajamas. Her feet thudded against her wood floor as she opened the door. There he was, dripping wet from the thunderous rain outside. Amu's eyes had widened, and she quickly shooed him inside. There, he sat on her couch, his violin case lying on the small coffee table. She had quickly gotten him a towel, and he wrapped it around himself, shivering._

"_You idiot," she told him, her voice concerned. "what were you doing out there in the cold? You weren't even wearing a jacket!"_

"_I'm sorry."_

_She had frozen, for he never said sorry. Never. Even when he had once accidentally hurt her feelings, he didn't say sorry—he only smiled and said things that made her forget about what he said._

"_Ikuto," she said, sitting cross-legged beside him. "what's wrong?"_

_He didn't say anything, nothing at all, but instead, he looked at her, his eyes hallow and sad. "Amu," he whispered, his voice cracked. "Amu ... Amu ... Amu ..." That was all he said—her name._

And the next morning, when she woke, and found the now dry towel folded neatly beside her and his violin gone and him gone and only a note in his place with her name on it, she knew.

He had left.

She didn't read the note. She hadn't, she couldn't. Because inside that note was words she didn't want to hear, didn't want to know because they were too painful, too excruciating.

Amu didn't do anything to the note—just left it there. It stayed there and stayed there for about a month, on the coffee table, until finally, she picked it up and placed it in her room. And even then, she didn't read it.

Now, as she was sitting beside the window, two years after his disappearance, she went into her room. Amu picked up the note laying on her nightstand and quickly unfolded it.

_Amu._

_I'm sorry about last night. I bet I scared you, even though I didn't mean to. I needed someone, Amu, and my feet led me to your place. Even though I didn't want to, even though I knew it'd be hard for you, I went to your house. _Only _your house. In my mind, I was thinking, "I should go home, tell me my parents I'm leaving." But, I went to your house instead. I wonder what that means, Amu? I still do. I don't think I'll ever forget—I went to my friend's house instead of my family's. _

_I bet you knew I was leaving. Maybe not before, when you were treating me, because in your eyes, there was concern for me. But, deep in your heart, you knew. And the next morning, when I was gone, did you have a feeling? Did you have a feeling, deep in your heart, that you knew I left you? You always were able to read through me. Always. Why should last night be any different? I wanted to spend my last night in Japan with you, Amu. Only with you. That's why, I think, I went to your house. By the time you're reading this, I'm not in Japan. Or maybe I am, if you hadn't read it the morning after that night._

_I miss you. I really do, and I didn't want to leave you, believe me, I didn't. I left because I wanted you safe, Amu, that was the reason. Though, the question that echoes in my mind everyday before I was planning and will for future days is do you believe me? Do you trust me? I left for your safety, Amu, I really did.  
I will end this note now.  
But, all I wanted to tell you is that I love you.  
Yes, quite a tragic way to confess, isn't it?  
I love you, Hinamori Amu, and I always will._

_Love,  
Ikuto_

She cried. She hadn't cried when he left, because there was a hollow feeling in her chest that prevented her from shedding any emotion. Now, she cried. He loved her. He left because he loved her. But, could she believe it? She didn't know if she could. He was too coy, always too playful at times, but he was serious when he wrote his letter. She didn't know what to believe, anymore. She did, but not anymore.

Amu didn't bother to wipe the drenched tears that leaked from her eyes as her front door rang. She didn't want to answer it, but something in her heart felt like she should.

Her small, fragile, bare feet thudded softly against the wood floor as she walked to over the door. The person who was standing there, in all his glory, took her breath away.

_Ikuto._

She didn't believe it. Amu stared at him, at his azure colored eyes, his lean built, his violin case strapped casually over his shoulder. She felt her tears leak slowly again from her eyes as she stared at him. His expression was ... unreadable, for a first. There was something he was hiding in his eyes, something that she couldn't tell what it was.

"I-Ikuto?" she whispered, her hand covering her mouth.

His voice had gotten deeper, more huskier, when he said, "May I come in?" And it made her shiver all the more. She stepped aside as he walked in.

Amu closed the door behind him and watched him as he surveyed the room.

"I-I'll go get some refreshments," she turned to run into the kitchen, but a warm hand on her arm stopped her. She turned to look at the hand, and compared. A slightly tan hand against an absolute pale one. Ikuto's hand traveled down her arm, and he gripped her small hand, twining his slender fingers through hers.

"You haven't been eating," he observed.

Amu turned herself around, into his arms, and gripped his shirt.

And cried.

The Ikuto that was stoic a minute ago suddenly picked her up and placed her on the couch. They both sat there, and he whispered choked words through, "I'm sorry, Amu, I'm so sorry."

"Why?" she cried at him. "Why did you leave me?"

He didn't say anything until she quieted down. Once she did, he said, "There were people after me, Amu. I couldn't afford for you to get hurt. I would've died."

She sniffled. Barely audible, she whispered, "You could've taken me with you."

"I couldn't have."

"Ikuto!" She wrenched herself out of his arms. "DID YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU?" she screamed, her tiny frame trembling. "You were always there for me—always. T-that night, you freaked me out so bad, Ikuto. I was worried. Extremely worried. A-and when you left me that morning, I didn't read the note. I didn't read the note until _today_, dammit! Ikuto ... I-I just ... WHY DID YOU HURT ME? There was no contact, nothing at all from you. How was I supposed to know whether you were alive or DEAD?" Her throat hurt from yelling; she hadn't talked so loud for years.

"Amu," he whispered. "I don't know how you can forgive me ... but, I thought about you ever day. I wanted to send something to you, to tell you I was all right, but I couldn't, Amu. They were tracking everything I said, everything I did. I had to lay low for a long time."

Amu stood there, trembling, until finally, Ikuto stood up and wrapped his long arms around her. She cried into his shirt, sobbing horrid sounds that soaked his shirt.

Ikuto used his index finger to tilt her head up and he kissed her lips softly, tenderly. His lips traced kisses over her eyes, her nose, her cheekbones, and her forehead.

He picked her up again, and this time, laid her on her bed in her bedroom. He kissed her forehead one more time, parting her pink bangs, and whispered, "Go to sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake up."

She gripped his hand. "I can't sleep ... I'm afraid you'll ..."

His finger caressed her face, softly and so tenderly Amu couldn't help but close her eyes at the touch. "I promise, Amu. I'll never leave again—I swear on my life."

"Swear?"

"I swear," he smiled, as her eyes close and she sighed. "Go to sleep now, my love."

And before she fell asleep, Amu smiled—a sweet, short smile that accelerated his heartbeat.

"Thank you, Ikuto."

That was all she wanted—to smile.

* * *

Review! (: If it feels kinda rushed, I'm sorry. I had to take a shower and I wanted to finish it before my shower started. :P My mom'll kill me if she finds me on this thing T_T Darn, I finally updated something! Review, pwease!


	9. Perfect

A/N: I probably have a sucky life compared to others. Like, seriously. I've been thinking about it – how I'm always left out of things, not included, etc. But, then I think of my good friends – the ones who freakin' _don't _exclude me and talk to me whenever they can. _That's _your real friends. I heart Pink cuz she's the one who made me realize that. / heart

And this is a cross between a songfic and a one-shot. Well, it's more like a one-shot, but, you know how you watch television / dramas and how they have the background lyrics and music? This is how it is. :x btw, the lyrics are all mixed up. They're not in the correct order.

**Copyright: **Peach-Pit for the characters; Evalix for story.**  
Theme Song: **_Fuckin' Perfect _by Pink.**  
Inspiration: **_Fuckin' Perfect _by Pink.**  
Genre: **Hurt/Comfort, Friendship.**  
Rating: **T for cursing.**  
Summary: **For him, she was perfect – fucking perfect, in fact. And nothing would change that.

* * *

**Perfect**

Why had she, Hinamori Amu, of all people, had to stick out like a sore thumb?

As long as she could remember, she had never fit in. Her appearance changed that – her character adding to that. Why? Why had she never had the courage to speak up, instead of just acting how she did?

She loathed herself for that.

The tears of frustration spilled out from her, of all the years she had kept them inside. Her sobs were quiet, and she kept her head down in between her knees.

_Mistreated, this place  
Misunderstood  
Miss 'knowing it's all good'_

She didn't hear the balcony door open until she felt the breeze waft through her hair and the weight shift on her bed. And, by then, she already knew who it was and was furiously trying to wipe the disgusting tears away from her eyes.

A warm hand stopped her. "Don't," he said softly. "Cry, Amu. If you want to cry – cry. No one's stopping you."

She looked up at those blue orbs; the ones the were usually always filled with amusement and playfulness, were now concerned and looked ... as if ... he really cared for her.

Oh, she didn't care. She wanted a shoulder to cry on, and she trusted him. The feeling bubbled up from inside her, but she _trusted _him. He teased her, mocked her, harassed her – yet, she trusted him. It was weird – strange, unearthly, almost. The feeling was foreign to her.

She stared at him, at his blue orbs, the azure locks, the soft, angular face. She could feel the tears burst out again, and she crawled into his lap.

And cried.

Her small hands clutched the front of his shirt and she cried, wetting the soft fabric. "Damn, Ikuto," she sobbed. "Damn, damn, damn!"

He already knew the reasons for her crying – it was an ongoing problem. But, who could blame the girl? Entering high school, she was teased, bullied. And not the way he did it – it was completely different.

Ikuto tilted his head upward, resting his chin on her head as her sobs resided. "You know," he whispered, softly. "you're perfect, right? _Fucking perfect_, all right? You'll always be my number one."

_Pretty, pretty please  
If you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing  
You're fucking perfect to me_

She quieted for a moment. The silence stretched on for minutes, and he nearly thought she was asleep until she spoke up again, her voice quiet. "Liar," she choked. "I'm ugly, stupid, naïve, a total klutz, a coward, and many other things. I _can't _be your number one."

He sighed, closing his eyes. "You're right." He laughed. "You are a coward, a klutz, and stupid and all those other things. But, those are the things that make you _you,_ my number one girl._"_ He paused. "It's all those things that made me fall for you, you know."

"Don't lie." Her voice was weak, wavering – and he could tell she was about to cry again.

"I'm not," he urged. "Do you really think I would lie about that, Amu? Do you really think that lowly of me?"

"Aren't all your teases pretty low?" She giggled.

"Well, true." He smiled. "But, that's besides the point. They might hate you, Amu, but you have people who care for you."

_Change the voices in your head  
Make them like you instead_

He didn't even pause; he kept going, even without a single thought. "They love you, Amu," he said. "the people here. Change those voices into them liking you, instead."

"You sound so cheesy, Ikuto," she said. Her mess of pink hair moved, then, and her smiling face toward towards him. "Thanks," she whispered, and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "You're awesome, Ikuto."

He smirked at her before kissing her on the lips. "I know."

Ikuto jumped off the bed, walking towards the balcony. He turned towards her, smirking.

_You're fucking perfect to me_

"Hey, Amu." She looked at him. "Remember – you're _fucking perfect in every way. _All right?"

The words made her smile. "I know," she whispered; then louder, "Hey, pervert."

He turned to look at her as he placed his feet on the edge of her balcony. "Hmm?"

She stuck up her middle finger at him. "Fuck you."

He laughed, jumping into the cold night.

_Pretty, pretty please  
If you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing  
You're fucking perfect to me_

_

* * *

_

A/N: Yeah, pretty rushed & crappy. But, I love the song. LISTEN TO IT.

But, I hope this sent a message to you people who are in a tough time out there;

**YOU'RE ALL PERFECT. YOUR FLAWS MAKE YOU PERFECT. YOU'RE FUCKING PERFECT, ALL RIGHT?**

Lol. I don't know how many times I've repeated 'perfect' in this ._. lol.

Anywho. Love y'all.

/I should prolly change the rating to M, huh? ._." Cuz of the huge amounts of cussing.


	10. Broken Sunrise

**A/N:** I don't know why I updated. I was just going through Niix's stories, cuz you know, she's an amazing author 'n all, and so I read through her one-shot collection, and came across this sad one. It was epic. And that was the inspiration that led this to.

Also: Go **_right now _**to YouTube and search up "Ai Mei by Rainie Yang" and listen to it over and over until you've finished reading this. I swear, it even made_ me _cry while I read this over, and this is my own story.

**Title: **ブロークンサンライズ**  
Genre: **Angst/Romance.**  
OST: **_Ai Mei _by Rainie Yang.**  
Pairing: **Amu/Ikuto.**  
Inspiration: **Niix's _Midnight Musings._

* * *

**ブロークンサンライズ**

"_You've gone away, taken my heart, and you'll never return."_

The lamp cast a soft glow around the room, illuminating the woman reading a novel on the sofa. She wore reading glasses, her golden eyes flicking onto the words and then onto the window as she read. Her pink hair was wrapped into a messy ponytail, a few strands hovering over her eyes and neck.

Her phone buzzed, and with a start she dropped her book, and her hands shook as she dug into pajama pockets and pulled out her phone. Her heart constricted in her chest as she read whom the text was from. Pressing the OK button, she closed her eyes, and taking deep breaths, she opened her eyes.

_I need to talk to you. It's urgent. Come outside._

It didn't matter that her hair was a mess, that there was bags under her eyes, or that she was still in her pajamas. She needed to get outside, to see what the matter was.

Running barefoot, she swung open the door to the cold night air, and arms wrapped around herself, her eyes roamed her patio, searching for the familiar violet eyes and blond pigtails. She appeared in front of her, and her suddenness nearly caused a scream to escape from her.

"Utau," she gasped, her eyes widening. Utau's eyes were red-rimmed, as if she had been crying. Her eyes had lost their fierce shine, and her hair had dulled. It was obvious that something was wrong.

"Amu." Her voice cracked as she said her name, and Amu could have sworn that tears were leaking from her eyes and falling down her cheeks. "He's dead."

_He's dead._

She knew who she was talking about. She knew exactly what she was talking about, but there was an urgency within her heart that told her she didn't want to believe. She wanted to act naive. Like she didn't know, like she forgot.

A throaty laugh escaped from her throat. "W-what are you talking about? Utau!"

And then something sparked behind her eyes, and that was all it took—that, and her pale hands that gripped her shoulders that caused the tears to cascade down her cheeks. Utau's eyes softened, then, but there was no pity, no concern—there was anguish, sadness, trauma—the same emotions that held in Amu's own eyes.

They stayed like that, sitting beside each other, using each other's shoulders for comfort till their crying subsided. Sleep had come upon Utau then, and so she sent her inside, while Amu stayed and stared. Deep in her heart, she knew. The contact had lessened—and then, abruptly it was gone. She didn't question, she always assumed he would come back. That he would resume contact. That he would come back, tease her again, tell her he loved her again and again.

And then, when the tears spilled down her cheeks again, and the sun rose over the horizon, she knew—that from now on, every sun, every moon, every star would be dull. They would be broken, just as her heart was. That she would be gray, and so would the world, as long as he was gone.

Because with him gone forever, what mattered?

He never came back. And he never would.

_._

_._

_._

"_I promise, wherever I go, whatever distance separates us … I will come back to you. And when you grow up and become an adult, I promise I will come back and find you."_

_._

_._

_._

_fin._

* * *

**A/N:** Hot damn, I'm good. Gah, I've felt like writing this for a while, so uh, there you go. Review! I wanna see if I made any of you cry. [x SO FREAKIN' REVIEW.


	11. Time and Time Again

Time and Time Again

.

.

.

"_Not knowing yourself means that you can be anything you want to be, right?"_

.

.

.

There had been a time when Hinamori Amu struggled with the idea of "accepting one's self." Her flaws made her seem incompetent, and when she found all her friends, all her peers and colleagues around her accept their would-be selves in a matter of years, while Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia were right by her side, she wanted to crawl under a hole and live there for the rest of her life. Never did she ever feel so slow and undeveloped. Everyone around her was _growing, _was turning into an _adult_, and she was left behind. It wasn't, of course, their fault at all; her friends had accepted themselves. But that was the problem Amu found within herself—why couldn't she accept who she was, with all her flaws and imperfections, if everyone else could?

Another thought, however, had also stopped her.

Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia—they had been with her for nearly two years; her fifth and sixth grade graduation. Everyone told her that her charas would forever be in her heart, but she never believed them. Would she be able to converse with them like she did? Could she still help the people with x-eggs? Could she character transform? But most of all, would she even be able to _feel _them?

Amu hadn't known, but one morning, just a day after her 7th grade graduation, her charas were gone, placed back into her heart where they once belonged.

**:.:**

When Amu woke that morning, the first thought in her mind was: _Yes! Winter break! _ School had been a hellish nightmare lately, with all the homework she'd have piling up due just the day before her break. She realized, however, that she wasn't in much of a hot state herself—her bright, fuchsia hair was still looped into a ponytail from last night, but it hung limply around her shoulders. Her bangs were frizzed, like she had been boiling outside in the heat. Amu always hated her skin in the morning; ugh, it was such an ugly tone that she hated looking at herself, almost.

Amu quickly rinsed her face and brushed her teeth, quickly following by running a comb through her hair. She glanced at the clock hanging behind her in the bathroom, and with sudden determination, she set out picking her outfit for the day—a plain, white t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and a plaid pea cot to top it all off. She piled her short hair around her shoulders, arranged her mini x accessories around her head, and with a stride that didn't match her confidence, she left her home, leaving a note for her mother that she was going outside.

Today was the day.

She was going to see Ikuto again.

She had to admit, high school had not been what at all she had expected. Once, just in the midst of her seventh grade year, she called Ikuto to ask him about homework, not having much high hopes that he could help her, but having no choice. After all, he had spent most of his senior year (and probably all his other years, too) of high school by skipping and sleeping his classes away. But what surprised her was that he _did _know the things she was having troubles with (her math and English), as if he had studied at home instead. In a strange, twisted way, she began to respect him. Not because he studied while he wasn't in school, but because he was thinking about his future. Like he cared.

Which Amu later found that of course he did. He cared about so much more things that Amu had, especially when he had been bound by Easter. He thought of his sister, his father, his mother, _Tadase _even.

But, most of all, he had also thought about her.

Amu smiled a bit lopsidedly as she traipsed through the city. It was nearly a year after Ikuto had visited Japan—had visited _her_—and his arrival always sent butterflies through her stomach. She remembered the first time he had come back, and how not much time had passed since he had first left. He came just in time for Nikaidou's and Sanjo's wedding, but she remembered going through The Road of Stars. She remembered seeing him as Yoru went back into his heart, because he had found himself. She remembered all the moments when she first changed from who she had been to who she was now. It was such a journey; she couldn't believe how much she had grown. And if she were being truthful with herself, she would say that without her friends, without Tadase or Rima or Ikuto or Utau she wouldn't be who she was today, even if she had her shugo charas. They were the reason for her growth, for her to move on—when Dia's egg had become an x-egg; when Tadase only liked Amulet Heart; when Rima taunted her with insults and snide comments. They all changed, just like Amu, and they had all accepted each other.

Amu slowed down her place as she neared the amusement park. The last time she checked, she was told that the construction was put on a brief hiatus. She could still see the bulldozers stand idle, piles of dirt and cement stacked on top of each other. Broken pieces of the rides were littered, and Amu felt something constrict in her throat. Not matter how much time passed, no matter what happened, Amu still considered this her special place—the _only _place between Ikuto and her. It was special. And though it was almost two and half years ago, she could still remember when she opened herself up to her enemy, when she told him about herself and when he told her about him. They were on the teacup rides, with Ikuto protruding like a giraffe, looking so much out of place yet so much in place at the same time.

"Still in construction, huh?"

She knew the voice before her mind could even process who it was. She felt it in her body; her shoulders, tense with memories, relaxed, and she let out a low, deep breath. Her palms, which felt sweaty and slick suddenly seemed cold, and she wiped them against her dark jeans. "I-Ikuto!" she exclaimed, and turned, almost tackling him with a hug. He squeezed back tightly, before releasing her and ruffling her articulately combed hair.

"Hey, Amu." He smiled, one of those soft, rare ones that he only reserved for her. Amu could feel her cheeks heating up.

"Hi," she replied sheepishly as he stared at her. Amu turned her gaze towards the construction site, and once again felt something rise in her throat.

It was times like these between them that Amu found the most comfortable. Lately talking hadn't been how they bonded, though they chatted a lot, mostly about his adventures and Amu's life in Japan. But there were also calm, easy silences between them that seemed to speak a thousand words than what they said; it was like they could sense emotions and thoughts of each other just by standing next to each other.

But, for now, Amu wanted nothing more than to talk. She wanted her mind off things. She wanted to chat, to erase the beautiful memories that seemed to be resurfacing in her mind and that set off the sobs in her throat and the tears in her eyes. And though she'd admit it to no one but him, Amu wished, for just one moment, that she could go back in time from when she was in sixth grade. When there were bazillions of x-eggs, when Ikuto was bound, when she had _troubles_. But it wasn't because she wanted bad adversity on anyone, she just wanted to go back to the times when it felt like she had a _purpose. _She had faced so many troubles along the way, learned so many new things, found love, in both friendship and life; she found a _goal. _And now that there were no more x-eggs, no more troubles, what was her _job? _What was she supposed to do? It was a question that was eating at her like cancer, and she wanted nothing more than to find the answer.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Ikuto spoke quietly from beside her. "Amu," he said, his eyes trained on the demolishing amusement park in front of him. "How are your eggs?"

Her eggs.

There was something she was so tired of thinking about, and that was her eggs. How they had disappeared one morning, leaving without a trace or without a goodbye. But now that time had passed, like it always did, she had come to a conclusion—they had returned back to her heart. She had found her would-be self, even if it didn't feel like it at all. "They returned," Amu said quietly, and placed a hand lightly over her heart. "right here."

And now that she said it, had really said it aloud to someone, there was almost no denying that it wasn't true. She could feel something within herself, like those sparkling shards she had held in The Road of Stars—something glittering and precious and _real _inside of her. For so long, she had contemplated over her charas, and though she never really said it aloud to anyone, she could tell that all her friends knew that her guardians were gone. She had been so scared at first, but slowly she felt herself loosen, like a tightly bound violin string beginning to let go after being taunt for long. And now, when she really admitted it, she felt herself almost going free, like she had lifted a burden as great as a mountain off her shoulders.

"You feel that, don't you?" Ikuto said softly, and she watched as his fingers touched gently to hers. "This thing inside you. They're there, Amu. They never go away."

She saw herself then, almost as if she were looking into a mirror. She went inside of her herself, inside her heart, if only for a moment, and then she saw them—Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia. They were there, as if they were power-charging her heart, urging her to go on from within. And their voices, calm and ecstatic, loud and soft, echoed from around her: _"You can do it, Amu! We're right here with you! Always believe in yourself!" _

And for what seemed like a second felt like an hour, she could feel the tears of happiness leak down her cheeks. She got to see her charas again. She got to see who she was, even if she didn't have the slightest clue to what she wanted to be, but that didn't matter, did it? It never had. It had always been on the inside, in her heart. It had always been that she should accept herself for who she was, and without realizing it, Amu realized that she had done this so long ago, but was so scared to admit it. But she had, and those times when she felt like the slow, underdeveloped kid were only the feelings she had told herself, when on the inside she really had known who she was.

"I want to challenge myself and do new things," she told Ikuto, seemingly out of nowhere. But he was listening—he always did. "I don't know what it's like to be my true self. But it's more interesting that way."

"Even if you don't know yourself?" he asked. Everything Amu said or did surprised him; he never expected anything from her. He had stopped trying long ago. The moment when he thought she would break down and cry, she didn't—instead, she raised her chin high, set her shoulders, and her eyes glittered with determination.

"Not knowing yourself means that you can be anything you want to be, right?" She smiled cheekily at him, showing her wonderful teeth and that beautiful smile. It was these moments when he found her so beautiful, not because she had golden eyes or such full cheeks, but because she just _was. _Because she saw sides of people who he could have never seen. Because she saw differently than the people around her. Because she never gave up. Because she loved and helped everyone. Because she saw through him when no one else could, when his world was dark and she was the light. It was all these reasons and so many more that made his heart beat faster and his mind tried to wrap around how this girl was so understanding, so _glorious. _If it were him, he wouldn't have thought of what she just said—he always thought of himself as "lost," that if one couldn't find his own would-be self than he would be walking around in circles, never finding a solution to an ongoing problem. But he would have never discovered that there were so many other methods and formulas to reach this one "solution," and that one didn't have to focus on this obstacle blocking his life. He could waltz around it, enjoy himself to the fullest and could be satisfied with what he had. And then, when the time came, he would be prepared. He would fight back, he would dig down within himself to find the answer.

If it weren't for her, he would have never realized these things.

"I think," she continued, and Ikuto listened silently: "that when our charas go back inside our hearts, we'll always feel them. They'll always be there, cheering for us and moving us on. And it might not necessarily mean that we have _found _our would-be selves, but more like we've accepted who we are, with all our flaws and all our imperfections. That we don't judge ourselves anymore, not like before. We might still feel self-conscious and find ourselves a bit less self-confident without our charas by our sides, but I think that's all part of finding ourselves—after all, we can't rely on them all our life. Them returning to our hearts is only the first step in a series of trials. But the next are so much more personal, going so deep that it doesn't even involve our charas, but only _ourselves._"

Amu stayed quiet after that. She had a feeling that Ikuto had no idea what to say, and for a moment she didn't either. Had she ever said something that deep? Aside from her speech to Gozen so long ago, she didn't think so, but these thoughts had always been lurking inside of her, begging her to be spoken. After a moment she blushed and shook her head, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "I-I don't even know if that made sense."

"It did," Ikuto replied from beside her. "You're right, about everything. But I think we aren't able to put these feelings into words." He placed a hand lightly over his chest and closed his eyes. "I can still feel Yoru here. All his _nya's_, and catnip obsession conversations. When I'm in a struggle, he helps me. And if I concentrate really hard, I can go within myself and talk to him. It's almost like . . . magic."

Instead of touching her heart, Amu reached for her Humpty Lock. The last time she'd used it was with Ikuto, and ever since then, she hadn't felt a use for it. It was so powerful, almost like magic, just as Ikuto said, and she couldn't bring herself to extravagant herself with it. But she fingered the shining hearts circling the lock, and for a moment she wondered what would happen if Ikuto's Dumpty Key inserted into her lock again. Would she still turn into Amulet Fortune now that her characters were gone?

But perhaps not knowing was best. She didn't know who she was, but still she went through so much and had learned so much. She gained and lost, she won and she was defeated—but was anything just a game? Wasn't it life, where you went through things like this? She found so much, herself and her friends, and she found Ikuto. These were all her happy endings, all her sad ones, and yet everyone seemed to be happy. Everything had ended, but that was only the beginning. She had just finished a chapter in her book, not the whole novel; Amu had so much more to complete. She had so much more to do and become, so much more to learn and give.

And though everything seemed to be ending, she knew it was only the beginning.

Nodding, Amu couldn't help the smile that lighted her face. Her beginning was coming. She would just have to wait.

.

.

.

_fin._

* * *

a/n: I was actually reading a few of the last chapters of shugo chara, and I got inspired to write this. I mean, I've always neglected adding the guardian characters to any of my stories, and I hate that. Like, a lot. And though I should say that "Now I'll them to my future stories," but the problem is that there may _not _be another shugo chara story from me for this fandom. I think it may be time that I ended it for good. Maybe the occasionally one-shot (not songfic because I'm starting to hate those) but no more stories. So after I finish DS, I may leave sc for a long time. It's just not the _same_ anymore. All those previous, talented authors are gone, and I seem like I'm so alone.

right. so. um.

that conversation Amu had with Ikuto? it's purely friendship/hurt/comfort. not romance, sorry. she's still young in this one, not twenty-something or in her teens. and the part where they're talking about her would be selves ... i don't know if it sounds familiar or not, but it's actually a conversation from the manga. i just don't know who it's between. and most of this one-shot reflects my feelings on would-be selves and charas, so, uh. yeah.

But, hell, can you believe it? It's almost 2 years since the anime/manga ended. and I still miss it. Idk why.

review? :D


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